There Is No Try

The word try is a huge saboteur in our personal lives. How often have you heard of someone trying to quit smoking, or save money, or be a better spouse? It happens all the time, and almost always ends in failure. The reason is simple - try is a "wiggle word". We use it when we are not fully committed to following through.

We give ourselves this freedom to fail for several reasons. Often whatever we are trying to do wasn't our idea in the first place. Your boss or your significant other might ask you to do something for them. "You should..." is the key phrase in these situations. Unless failure will result in a large tangible penalty, you will usually fail if that is your motivation.

We also try when we know it is something we should do, but do not want to do. Quitting smoking is one of the best examples of this. Smokers know the habit is disgusting and costly, but for a myriad of reasons do not really want to quit - but almost every smoker is either trying to quit or planning to quit. Again, failure is almost assured.

Finally, we try when we want to do something, but have not fully prepared ourselves to succeed. these are the heart breakers, because you really did want the result, but you just didn't do your homework. The failure is the direct result of poor planning. Think of a job seeker who did not prepare themselves for the interview, and you'll get the picture.

Trying costs us dearly. Even when we are not committed to our purpose, when we fail it causes us to lose faith in ourselves. We develop rationalizations to explain our failure, and so create a habit of lying to ourselves. Our confidence declines, and we become even less likely to attempt change. Eventually, we reach the point where we stagnate, and become trapped in our lives, powerless to change what we have become.

The way to break this cycle is to quit trying. Decide to do rather than try. Never say yes unless you are committed to achieving the result. If someone else tells you what you should do, do not agree to try. Develop the habit of only saying yes if you enthusiastically agree that the task must be done, and that you are the best choice for the task. Learn the 80/20 rule, and use every day. For those not familiar with this rule, it states that 80% of your results are the result of 20% of your efforts.

Making a daily To Do list will increase your success rate dramatically. Note that is is not called a “TO Try” list. Let that be your litmus test. If you would not put it on your To Do list, don't agree to it. Once you have your To Do list, choose the tasks that will yield the greatest results, and do those first. Then complete the other tasks in order of importance. 

 

By adopting the strategy of doing rather than trying, you will increase your efficiency, and your effectiveness. This will increase your confidence, and allow you to take control of your life again.